Everyone has an inner critic. It’s that little voice that pops up when you least want it to and reminds you of your failures and shortcomings. Perhaps it came into existence because you had critical parents or a teacher that was never pleased with what you did or a boss whose idea of management was to constantly point out the areas that you could improve on. Doubt can creep in and you start to wonder if you really are like that. You begin to repeat other people’s criticisms when you don’t achieve the goals that you set for yourself.
In order to defeat your inner critic you can use these 3 steps:
Step 1 – Catch it out. You need to recognise when your inner critic is up to its old tricks so that you can catch it out. You may have heard it telling you that:
“You’ll never lose that much weight. You don’t have the willpower.”
“Who do you think you are to set up your own business/write a book/look great/get fit? You don’t have what it takes.”
“You can’t run 10km. It’s too far for you, you’ll never make it.”
What does your inner critic say to you?
Step 2 – Make your choice. Once you have recognised that these comments aren’t reality and are in fact your inner critic’s voice then you are able to take control and remember that you have a choice as to whether you continue to listen to or not.
You can choose what to focus on in your life. If all you focus on are the negative parts of your life that your inner critic keeps reminding you about then it can be difficult for you to see what you have achieved. I know from past experience that this can be an uphill battle to begin with and I recommend starting with reminders of the small tasks that you have achieved. This is helpful in changing your mindset and finding the strength to focus on your goals and the steps you have already taken to achieve them.
Step 3 – Change your inner critic’s role. Once you have made your choice you need to deal directly with your inner critic. There is no one right way to do this. I’ve found that simply recognising and laughing at how foolish my inner critic is being can be a great solution. I point out all the achievements that I have created through my hard work and how foolish some of its criticisms are. If you don’t take its voice too seriously then its ability to damage you will be limited.
You may find that getting angry with your inner critic works for you, “how can you not see all the brilliant achievements that I have completed so far?”. Perhaps a more gentle approach may work for you too. Tell your inner critic that its original role of protecting you from harm was a helpful one but it is no longer useful and now you need a strong supporter who is there to assist you achieve the goals that you have chosen.
Your inner critic’s role can be changed to be your greatest supporter who reminds you to take care of yourself if you are pushing yourself too far or too quickly. Remember it is always up to you how much weight you give to that voice. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
